"Waiting Time is Not Wasting Time": Skirt Collective

Originally published in Skirt Collective (2015).

I will have graduated one year ago this spring. Due to various personal reasons, I have chosen to take a gap year between college and “adult” life. I still live in the same house, and work the same retail job that I did while I was a student. The past year has been a constant storm of emotions, mainly anxiety and disappointment. Bored of what I had been doing, but afraid and unsure of starting anything new, I was stuck between the life of a student and “real life.”

If you happen to fall into the group (of many, I promise) who are not completely positive of how you plan to depart from the academic life, take a breath, make some tea, and let me tell you why waiting time is not the same as wasting time, and that taking a break is perfectly alright.

1. Clear Your Head

Take this time to forget what you’ve been taught about what you “should” be doing right now. For many of us, your entire life up until now has been scripted; your path has been mainly laid out for you. Now at the end of the path, instead of seeing a vast empty void of anxiety and student loans at your feet, see an ocean of opportunity. There are no tests, no requirements. If you want to spend the day watching reruns of “Friends” and making muffins, you have every right to do so. If you want to write a novel, start with the first page. There is no one thing you are “supposed” to be doing.

2. Revisit the Topics You Liked Studying

By clearing your mind of all of the stress that has been building up over the last decade or more of institutional education, you will be able to step back and remember what stood out to you because they meant something rather than because it was worth a large percentage of your grade. What did you enjoy? What are you still curious about? Forget whether or not it translates into a career. Finding what you are passionate about and what you are interested in is the first step to finding happiness in your career.

3. Start Something New

If you’re having a hard time thinking of something you would have fun doing every day for the rest of your life, it might be because you haven’t been exposed to it yet. Join a bird-watching group. Sign up for bartending lessons. Say yes to every invitation. You can always leave if you don’t like it.

4. Make Goals

The difference between wasting time and waiting time is your ambition and intention for the future. Regardless of whether you have a plan or not, make a commitment to yourself to always be working towards something. Set goals for yourself, big or small.

5. Network

Remember one thing: you have nothing to lose by reaching out. Make this your mantra. If you want to be a chef, contact the head chef of your favorite restaurant. If you want to be a filmmaker, write an email to a local director ask to take them out to coffee. Write a million emails. Talk to everyone. The worst thing that could happen is they ignore your message and, in that case, there is no harm done. You don’t need to ask for a job, merely inquire about how they achieved their place in the industry. Most of the time, they will be flattered by the interest and, occasionally, will be able to point you in the direction of a job or career field.

6. Focus on Your Health

If nothing else, take this free time to focus on yourself, in whatever way you feel is best. Focus on feeling your best. Begin better eating habits. Hot Pockets and Redbull may have seemed like an appropriate diet during all-nighters in the library but in order to see your future clearly, you have to take care of both your body and mind.

Exercise. This is an obvious one, but one that is often avoided or ignored. I’m not saying that you need to start running every day or that you need to join a gym immediately. You don’t need to plan out intricate and complicated weekly workout schedules. All you need to do is commit thirty minutes a day, three days of the week, to your body. Take a walk through a neighborhood you haven’t explored before. Hike to an easy viewpoint with a friend. There are thousands of yoga and pilates workouts on YouTube that you can do in the privacy of your living room. Make the promise to get your heart rate up several times a week and you will eat, sleep, and think better.

At the time that I graduated, my mind was still reeling from manic study sessions, exam stress, meeting deadlines. I had focused on school so religiously that I didn’t have a notion of what I wanted to do next. From the time I was born up until that point, everything had been planned out for me, and suddenly, free from tests, grades, and evaluations, I was off book. I was shoved out of university with nothing but a piece of fancy hard-stock paper that supposedly held my future.

Now, a year later, I believe the best decision I have ever made is not making any decisions at all. Take a break. There is no “best choice” here in the limbo between school and adult life. Stay passionate and keep working. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong.